Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room :A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See, I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,and kills you with his bills.
1 comment:
With due respects to all my Mallu friends… enjoy this… (the last part is the best!!!)
1. Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don’t werk hard? Kerala
2. Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala? Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying he lungi.
3. Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket? To go to thoobai, to meet his ungle in the Gelff.
4. Why do Malayali’s go to the Gelff? To yearn menney.
5. What did the Malayali do when the plant caught fire? He zimbly zembd out of the window.
6. What is a Malayali management graduate called? Yem Bee Yay.
7. Why did his wife divorce him? Because he was louwing another woman.
8. Who found out that? His andy.
9. What does a Malayali do when he goes to America? He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
10. What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday? An oto.
11. Who is Malayali’s fymaous yeactor end yaectress? Moghan lal, Mamooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
12. Why Kerala is the most highly literate state in India? It’s easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.
13. Why Arab countries are looking for only Keralites? They are ready to do yennything for menney.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:
Please don’t delete this after reading, You should atleast send this mail to:
10 Malayalis & you will receive Cokknut oil.
20 Malayalis & you will receive bennena chips.
40 Malayali you will receive appams.
Send this to 100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month’s supply of cokknut oil and bennena chips free.
Abu Suhaib
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